Biblical Masculinity, Patriarchy, and Cigars: A Reflection on Tradition and Identity
In today's world which is dominated by feminism, discussions revolving around biblical masculinity are often met with visceral resistance, misunderstanding, and confusion. Even the term “biblical masculinity”, which has evoked aromas of strength, leadership, and integrity; qualities that have typically been associated with a true patriarch, have been twisted and grossly misrepresented to mean “happy wife, happy life” where the husband has become a slave to the whims and emotions of the wife. I have always hated that turn-of-phrase. Biblical masculinity is about men embodying the roles and responsibilities outlined in scripture: Leading with wisdom, protecting the vulnerable, providing for your household, and pursuing righteousness.
However, as we navigate and engage the culture, it's crucial to explore what biblical masculinity truly means, especially in this current time when the word "patriarchy" is seen as oppressive and negative. Is patriarchy inherently harmful, or can it be understood as a framework for godly leadership?
The Bible speaks of a divinely ordained structure for society and the family throughout its pages. The Bible speaks of men as the head of their households (Eph 5:23), not in a domineering sense (1 Pet 3:7), but as loving leaders who cherish and honor those entrusted to his care. A patriarchal model, when viewed through a proper lens of scripture, is not an authoritarian dictatorship but one of sacrificial leadership that Christ most perfectly embodied.
From a biblical perspective, this idea of patriarchy is both empowering and convicting. It calls men out of this modern era where men behave as children (man child) and into a Christ-centered life where they take responsibility for their families, lead with wisdom, integrity, and love, and cultivate environments where men, women, and children thrive. True Patriarchy, as defined by scripture, is a far cry from oppressive dominance but is instead a call to stewardship, to serve, protect, and guide.
Now, how do cigars fit into a conversation about biblical masculinity and patriarchy? On the surface, it seems as if they have no connection. However, cigars have been culturally held as a symbol of celebration, luxury, camaraderie, and reflection – values that have historically been tied to masculine gatherings (think men smoking together in the library after dinner in the Victorian era). There is something about the act of sitting down with a cigar, taking time to reflect, ponder, and discuss while sharing a smoke with other men that resonates deeply within the hearts of men and breeds a deeper understanding of masculinity.
In many ways, cigars have been a symbol of masculine tradition, where men can bond over shared experiences, whether in leadership, work, or faith. Cigars have a long history of being associated with rites of passage, celebration, and even philosophical conversation. While not explicitly biblical, the slow-paced, contemplative nature of smoking a cigar invites reflection, whether on one's responsibilities as a man, the legacy he is building, or the direction his life is headed.
It is essential to point out that biblical masculinity is not defined or represented by any physical markers of manhood (like cigars, cars or trucks, a tough guy posture, or beards. I can probably make a decent argument for beards though!) but by the internal character of a man and the posture of his heart which will manifest in action. Biblical masculinity is about courage, humility, integrity, and devotion to God. Yet, tradition plays a significant role in shaping the identity of men throughout history, and sometimes, something like the shared ritual of enjoying a cigar can act as a reminder of the values and responsibilities that define biblical masculinity.
So, whether you're sitting with a cigar in hand, contemplating the weight of your role as a man, or reflecting on the patriarchal structures laid out in scripture, remember that biblical masculinity is ultimately about leading with purpose, protecting with love, and striving for holiness in every aspect of life.
Patriarchy, when rightly understood, is not a burden to bear but a calling to fulfill. It is the responsibility of men to lead in a way that reflects Christ’s love for the Church—sacrificial, servant-hearted, and full of grace. And sometimes, in the quiet moments with a cigar, we find space to remember this calling.
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